


Ode to Book Six

by infiniteviking



Series: Filkage and Poetry [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humor, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-15
Updated: 2005-07-15
Packaged: 2017-11-11 12:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infiniteviking/pseuds/infiniteviking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written one day before the rabidly anticipated release of The Half-Blood Prince: a poem in the style of T.S. Eliot's Macavity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ode to Book Six

Book Six is almost on the shelves -- it's called The Half-Blood Prince--  
A tale, we've heard, to stun 'em like no volume nigh or since.  
It's the bafflement of fandom and the theorists' major sweat:  
And we still don't have our answers, 'cause IT ISN'T PUBLISHED YET!

The HBP, the HBP, there's nothing like the HBP,  
The book is breaking records and the papers hawk it endlessly.  
No matter where you look for it, whatever tips you get,  
You will never find a copy, for IT ISN'T PUBLISHED YET.  
You can hunt through Barnes and Noble, you can seek it on the 'Net,  
But whatever tricks you try, you'll find IT ISN'T PUBLISHED YET!

The Half-Blood Prince is on its way. The readers are prepared.  
Each fact that Rowling gave us has been analyzed and shared.  
We've listened to the interviews. We know the words by heart.  
We've peered at grainy pictures of its blurry cover art.  
We've pelted her with owls (metaphorically at least).  
We'll be waiting up at midnight for the moment it's released.

We look to it for facts about the curse on Harry's head,  
And who will live to fight again, and who will end up d __ead.  
We beg JK for answers and she simply snickers _Nyet_ \--  
And there's nothing we can do, because IT ISN'T PUBLISHED YET!

The HBP, the HBP, there's nothing like the HBP:  
The secret's been preserved, despite unparalleled publicity.  
With twenty hours left, we writhe and twitch and chafe and fret,  
But the Prince is unidentified -- IT ISN'T PUBLISHED YET!

So he isn't Harry Potter, and he isn't You-Know-Who.....  
Who's the Prince, and what's he Prince of? Why's he there? What does he do?  
Is it majorly important? Is it just a Weasley jape?  
Is it Dean, or maybe Seamus? Is it Hagrid? Is it Snape?  
Is it someone we've forgotten, or a guy we haven't met?  
We can keep on having kittens, 'cause IT ISN'T PUBLISHED YET!

With the Dark Lord newly risen and the Ministry at war,  
We can guess the coming volumes will be darker than before.  
Poor old Harry's gotten angsty, and his friends are worried sick.  
We're as paranoid as Moody, but our skins are not as thick.  
We're invested in his future, and it's really quite a strain--  
The suspense is very gradually driving us insane.

The HBP, the HBP, there's nothing like the HBP...  
The websites throw confetti and are sometimes even spoiler-free.  
We've waited (if not patiently). We've little to regret.  
But for Heaven's sake, don't hold your breath: IT ISN'T PUBLISHED YET!

So even if we end up waiting hours in the store,  
And even if our pacing wears a circle in the floor,  
And even if the plot twists leave the wizard world in shock,  
We know one thing for certain: whoo, that book is gonna rock.  
So grab your bats and pointy hats and come and join the queue:  
There's a copy of The Half-Blood Prince arriving just for you!

**Author's Note:**

> Gotta thank T.S. Eliot for the metre. 'Macavity' is comic brilliance, as well as a sly poke at Professor Moriarty, who could do with a laugh if you ask me. If Moriarty had a cat, it would have been Macavity.


End file.
